Overwhelm. I feel it EVERY DAY! FOR YEARS!
I know I need to be DOING, but I’m frozen in place, just trying to catch my breath that anxiety has taken. I want to start everything at the same time. Just trying to figure out what to do, so I do the things that count, is overwhelming in itself! I feel like I’m suffocated, like I can’t breathe, like I just wanna run out and away from my house… like a wanna scream; like I want to hunker down with junk food and just watch TV or read a book and be left alone so I can calm down. Like my stomach hurts.
Do I do dishes? Or should I start laundry first? Should I fold the laundry first, so I’m not overwhelmed with that when it comes time to dry the new load? Oh, wait, someone is hungry. Someone needs help with the potty. This bathroom counter is a mess. The whole bathroom needs cleaning! Oh well, that will have to wait till later. Now, where was I, oh, yes, dishes then laundry. No! Wait! The other way! What laundry pile is the most offensive? Let me sort that our real quick.
On and on it goes, and it feels like I can bust my butt working, and my husband might still come home disappointed in the house. Or maybe I am the one that is most disappointed?
What can I do when I am overwhelmed and I feel like I am going to shut down? Like I’m frozen in place, but I still can’t catch my breath? I’m tired of the anxiety and the feeling of being anchored down, of not being able to do the things I most desire, like playing with my kids, crafting, reading.
Routines! I need to get over the hump that doing the routine things holds me back. I’ve heard it over and over, it’s doing those things that will keep me on track in making progress…. So I’m gonna go throw in a load and start dishes before I start decluttering or working on something new.